Ideally, write it before you leave the house to do something interesting. Have fun writing your emails, and enjoy the process of meeting someone new.
That way you’ll be in a positive mood, you won’t be tempted to write too much, and you’ll be too busy to keep checking for a reply. And when you do, we’ll be pleased to receive an email from you, telling us all about it.
Use that scientific discovery to your own advantage, by starting your email with a “Hello [Username]” and not a non-specific “Hi.” If you want to create a feeling of warmth, shorten their name, use its initials, or create a nickname based on one of their interests. Everyone loves to read about themselves, so don’t begin your message by launching straight in about you.
Instead, start by saying what caught your eye about their profile.
There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me.
This past week alone I’ve gotten enough poorly executed messages to make me want to curl up in a ball of being-alone-forever.
Similarly, if you claim to love your job but the time stamp on your message says you sent it at 9.30 on a Monday morning, your reader might doubt your career ethic.
Stick to neutral hours, like lunchtimes and early evening.
So, “You looked like you were having a blast on your skiing holiday! Where would you most like to go skiing that you haven’t been yet? One hundred words is about right: long enough to include a compliment, to say what caught your eye about their advert, mention something you have in common, and to ask a leading question.
Don’t feel you have to sell yourself or introduce yourself too much – as we’ve said, they’ll definitely visit your profile and read about you there. Plus, the shorter your first email, the more intriguing you’ll be. You might say you’re busy and leading a fun, full life, but if you’re sending emails at 9.00 on a Saturday night, how busy can you be..?
For more helpful tips head over to our advice pages or blog!
I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.
This establishes your interest and initiates conversation.