We see sexuality as a metaphor for the relationship.Thus, we say "fix the relationship and the sex will follow."However, this is a convenient assumption, it's not always the case and fixing the relationship does not always fix the sex.
What we call marriage today barely resembles its past profile.
Formerly, matrimony was about economic sustenance, partnership, companionship, social status and children.
The underlying belief is that by exposing one's internal life to another, he/she will feel deeply recognized, known and able to transcend his/her existential aloneness because he/she matters to at least one person.
Ours is a culture that believes in the ethos of absolute frankness. With this in mind, some of our core beliefs about marriage — the assumptions we make and the values we hold dear — really need to be questioned at a fundamental level.
Men just need frequent, constant, spontaneous sex; they are biologically driven and rigid, always interested in sex and less affected by moods than their female counterparts. In fact, men's sexuality is no less influenced by their internal state than women's.
Just look at any man who is depressed, anxious or angry.
Women, on the other hand, are creatures of meaning.
Women require a long list of conditions to generate sexual desire and yield sexual satisfaction.
By contrast, other cultures do consider what it would be like for the recipient of the information to live with the burden of knowing. For that reason, I tell my clients that they should not say things that will stick to their partner's skin.